> This chain letter is real
> so follow
> the instructions
> and something
> ordinary will happen!!
>
>
>
>
>
> OBEY THIS LETTER AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!
>
>
>
>
> Sorry,
> but this chain letter is for real.
> When Anne Wichert got it for the first, second, the three-hundredth times,
> she ignored it and a week later the love of her
> life dumped her for no good reason, other than her horrible body odor, so
> BEWARE,
> and just send the stupid letter!!!!!! Oy vey! How much energy does it take to send a stupid chain letter, anyway? Jesus H Christ, I'm dyin' here! If you don't send the damn letter, I'm sending it to your cousin Herschel.
>
>
>
>
>
> The Lovers of the Heart
>
> In order to form
> a more perfect kiss,
> enable the mighty hug to promote
> to whom we please
> but one kiss. Mmmm, kiss them you will!
>
>
> Article 1
>
> Statement of Love
> The Kiss
>
> 1.
> Kiss on the hand
> I adore you
>
> 2.
> Kiss on the buttcheek
> I want you to give me a raise.
>
> 3. Kiss on the neck
> I vant your blood
>
> 4.
> Kiss on the lips
> I love you...wan McGregor!
>
> 5.
> Kiss on the ears
> I am checking for earmites
>
> 6.
> Kiss anywhere else
> Booya, Gramma, Booya!
>
> 7.
> Look in your eyes
> I am your Optometrist.
>
> 8.
> Playing with your hair
> Gee, your hair smells terrific.
>
> 9.
> Hand on your waist
> I love you to much to let you go... U R tha kewtest!
>
>
>
> Article 2
> The Three Steps
>
> 1.
> Girls
> If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.
>
> 2.
> Guys
> If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.
>
> 3.
> Guys & Girls
> Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare.
>
Uhhhhhhmmmmmm... yeah. Was this written by a native Engrish speaker?
>
>
> Article 3
> The Commandments
>
> 1.
> Thou shall not squeeze
> too hard (except zits.)
>
> 2.
> Thou shall not ask for a kiss,
> but take one (take two, they're small.)
>
> 3.
> Thou shall kiss ass
> at every opportunity.
>
>
> * Remember *
> A peach is a peach
> A plum is a plum,
> A kiss isn't a kiss
> Without some tongue.
> So open up your mouth
> close your eyes,
> and give your tongue
> some exercise!!!
> ...Brought to you by the Hepatitis Anti-Defamation League
>
>
> Here are a few reasons
> why big fat butch dykes like girls
>
> 1.
> They will always smell good
> even if its just shampoo, or zam-zam berries.
>
> 2.
> The way their heads always
> find the right spot on our shoulder... to bite.
>
> 3.
> How cute they look when they sleep the sleep of the Undead.
>
> 4.
> The ease in which they fit into our Audis.
>
> 5.
> The way they kiss you and
> all of a sudden everything
> is right in the world, and there's no hunger, or war, and there's World Peace, and Jello Biafra has nothing to sing about anymore.
>
> 6.
> How cute they are when they eat, right before they go into the bathroom and hork it up again.
>
> 7.
> The way they take hours
> to get dressed
> but in the end
> it makes it all worth while, because they're not naked, which would probably get us thrown in jail.
>
> 8.
> Because they are always
> warm even when its minus 30 outside, in February, on their way to Club Semesters wearing nothing except a tube-top and an Ithaca Bombers cap.
>
> 9.
> The way they look good
> no matter what they wear, like, Divine for example.
>
> 10.
> The way they fish for compliments
> even though you both know that you
> think she's the most
> beautiful thing on this earth, aside from Pamela Anderson Lee.
>
> 11.
> How cute they are when they argue about who hab da best nayuhz. Sheila hab da best nayuhz cos them hab da stars an stripes, and dat be patriotic.
>
> 12.
> The way her hand always finds your neck.
>
> 13.
> The way they smile at other guys.
>
> 14.
> The way you feel
> when you see their name
> on the men's room wall
> after you just had a big fight
>
> 15.
> The way she says
> "lets not fight anymore"
> even though you know that
> an hour later.... she'll be in pieces in your freezer.
>
> 16.
> The way they kiss when
> you do something nice for them, like taking a bath.
>
> 17.
> The way they kiss you
> when you say
> "THE DALEKS ARE THE SUPERIOR BEINGS OF THE UNIVERSE!"
>
> 18.
> Actually ...
> just the way they kiss your best friend...
>
> 19.
> The way they beat you with their arms
> when they cry
>
> 20.
> Then the way they apologize
> for crying over something that silly... and for making you bleed.
>
> 21.
> The way they hit you
> and expect it to hurt
>
> 21a.
> The way they knee you in the groin, when you tease them for not being able to throw a punch.
>
> 22.
> Then the way they apologize
> when it does hurt.
> (even though we don't admit it)! (Except to our therapists!!!!!!)
>
> 23.
> The way they say
> "I'll miss your Porsche."
>
> 24.
> The way you diss them
>
> 25.
> The way their tears
> make you want to
> change the world
> so that it
> doesn't hurt her anymore..... except when you want it to...........
> Yet regardless
> if you love them,
> hate them,
> wish they would die
> or
> know that you would die
> without them ... or ESPN.............
> it matters not.
> Because once in your life,
> whatever they were to the world
> they become everything to you.
> When you IM them at work,
> traveling to
> the depths of their souls
> and
> you say a million things
> without trace of a sound, except the tap-tap-tap of ergonomic keyboards,
> you know that your own life
> is inevitable consumed
> within the rhythmic beatings
> of her very heart. It's... In... Evitable!
> We love them for a million reasons,
> No paper would do it justice.
> It is a thing not of the mind
> but of the heart and groin.
> A feeling.
> Only felt.
>
> *
>
>
>
> This chain started in 1666.
> It is a love chain of fools letter.
> In an hour you are
> supposed to send it to
> 2500 people.
> It is easy, just look into
> chat rooms and find them.
> Anyway,
> send it to 2500 people in 1 hour.
> Now here
> comes the fun part!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> You then say
> the name of the person
> you like or love three times into a broken mirror
> and then the person will say
> "I love you...wan McGregor,"
> or
> "Will you go out with my fat cousin?"
> NO JOKE!!!!!
>
>
>
>
>
> NOW
> THE CONSEQUENCES
>
> The consequences are
> If you break the chain letter,
> you will have bad luck
> in future camping trips.
> If you don't
> break the chain,
> then you will be a
> happy camper!!!
>
> CoNgRatULaTioNs!! lEt'S aLL tYpE lIkE rEtArDs!
>
> You have been chosen
> to participate
> in the
> LONGEST, MOST TEDIOUS,
> and the
> LUCKIEST
> chain letter on the Internet!
> Once you read,
> this letter you must
> IMMEDIATELY
> (meaning ninety days or ninety-thousand miles, whichever comes first)
> be sent to
> 2500
> people
> After you send it,
> make a wish
> and it will GO NATIVE
>
>
> YOU MAY NOT WAIT
> FOR A CERTAIN TIME
> TO SEND IT........ REMEMBER,
> IT MUST BE SENT
> TO
> 2500
> PEOPLE WITHIN 1 PARSEC,
> OR
> YOUR WISH WILL NOT COME
> TRUE!
> If THIS
> CHAIN LETTER
> IS CONTINUED UNTIL
> THE YEAR 2001, IT WILL BE PLACED IN
>
> MICROSOFT ENCARTA 95!
>
>
>
> PLEASE CONTINUE IT NOW!!!
> YOU WILL OBEY!!!! *hugZZZZZ!*
>
> *WARNING*
>
> IF YOU DO NOT PASS THIS ON,
> SOMETHING BAD OR WORSE
> WILL HAPPEN TO YOU
>
> NOTE*
> THE MORE PEOPLE
> YOU SEND THIS TO
> THE MORE LUCK YOU WILL
> HAVE IN YOUR LOVE LIFE.
> IF YOU BREAK
> THE CHAIN LETTER
>
> (IT HAS BEEN GOING SINCE 1666)
>
> YOU WILL HAVE
> BAD LUCK
> WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE
> AND SEVEN DWARVES.
> THIS IS
> NOT A VERY FUNNY
> JOKE.
> GOOD LUCK
>
> DID I MENTION THE BAD LUCK?